Monday, July 11, 2011

Crazy cat man

Working towards my lifegoal of being eaten by my cats when I die, I've decided I will need a cat. I tried the Blue Cross initially but they don't have a Bristol centre. Foop. I tried a few others, including one VERY unfriendly site that pretty much said "Halo + mansion or GTFO" - and didn't even have any cat listings up! The RSPCA site was ok but they only have a few cats listed which is a shame as they must have a hundred waiting. I flatter myself that in this net-savvy generation there are an increasing number of consumers who like me are happiest not even contacting a provider until we know exactly what we want!

Fortunately I tripped and fell heavily upon Bristol and Wales Cat Rescue. They work out of people's homes which could a) mean they're big-hearted animal lovers doing their best on the cheap, b) a scam. However they have cat macros on the site! This substantially enhances their credibility. Also they have a cute rollerskating chick. A girl that is, not a baby chicken, though that would be MOST amusing.

I was planning on picking up a little princess but experience must be sinking in at last as I've decided an elder statesman will suit my lifestyle much better. Maestro the 14 year old, barrel chested and fit as a fiddle. Well, barrel shaped somewhere as he is 6kg. And possibly only fit as a very well-loved fiddle considering his heart murmur and the dental work he's just had done. I shall be purchasing insurance for the wee beastie.

On which topic - FOR SCIENCE! At least, a spirited inquiry. Animal Friends insurance is dirt cheap which reviews say translates directly to being treated like dirt. Sainsbury's allegedly double your premium after a year even if you don't claim, and do not necessarily inform you of this despite the terms of the direct debate mandate. Some others are also full of shit. More Than appear to possess something of a monopoly position in the market for "insurance wot pays up" so with their good selves I shall entrust the care of my feline companion.

Gosh I'm long-winded. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but verbosity is the full English breakfast. And so to vittels. Cats are naturally carnivorous in contrast to my addled self. I appear to be pursuing an oxygenarian or at least breadhead diet. Anyway while I'm not about to start force-feeding the poor creature spinach, I'd rather it didn't eat a) anything which hopes to be fois gras in its next lifetime, b) total crap. Item A rules out pretty much anything from Tesco. Item B is a slippery slope which begins with eliminating bacon flavour lard balls and ends with me preparing chicken sushi garnished with intestine and liver pate. Damned if my pet is eating better than me.

Suddenly! Bristol! It turns out one of the better kibbles is available from Roxford's which is about 25mins walk from my house. I'll probably drive since I'll be carrying about 10kg of used animal tissue home. Here's a picture.

So it looks like the scragball will cost about £22 in insurance and £18 in food (70g/day @ £21/2.5kg) per month. Ouch. He may have to subsist on Whiskas or some other proletarian gruel for a little while. On the plus side I may save on hot water bottles.

Go ducky gogogo!

Took about an hour. I made those clouds by hand then just as I'm finishing off I discover GIMP has cloud filters! Oh well, next time. I used some HSV noise and blur filters for the road, which was nice because drawing all those little dots would have taken FOREVER! The skate wheels have some DIY noise on them courtesy of an elliptical mask and the Galaxy brush, but noise filters are so much better.

It's time for bed. Tonight I have researched cat insurance, researched cat food, written a blog post about researching cats and drawn a ducky. Who says you go crazy when you live alone?!

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